A good scout is always prepared

Recently in trolling the web for new and interesting porn, I came across a book called "The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks". As I was tiring of the tomes by my favorite doctor ("Would you, could you, with a goat?") I decided to give it a look-see. Because, y'know, you can never be too prepared. Let's ignore the fact that I still have yet to make our house earthquake survival kit after 6 months, much less started the laundry/packing for the camping trip we're going on tonight. I mean really! I could be thrown down into the sandbox by another mother at the park during a playdate! Or the cashier at the grocery store could misinterpret my basket of bananas, carrots, and cucumbers as an obvious sign that I am in serious lust with her, and might proposition me with some all-natural lotion (made from real hippies.) And then where would I be? See my point?!?

The book is written by a comedienne, so if nothing else, its a funny read:

Think about it. The pussy is a very sensitive lady. Going at her with long
fingernails is about as sexy as going at her with a rake.

Or the ever popular dialogue on sleeves for bullet vibrators:

The sleeves come in a ton of colors and are usually shaped like little rabbits
or bears or something, which is weird, but as long as they're not shaped like my
father I don't care what the fuck they look like.

The book covers everything from screwing up the courage (pun intended,) safe sex, toys, poses, techniques, to vocabulary builders and drink recipes. There are even photos illustrating many of the suggested positions! (man, Barbie sure gets around...)

I'll admit I did pick up a few new tricks in there, got reminded of some stuff I already knew, and yes, there was a fair amount of "Ok, even *I* knew that." All in all, it was definitely worth the $2.50 I paid for it. And even if I don't get to practice paddling the pink canoe, shucking the oyster, or morking the mindy on someone else's panty hamster, at least there is an unexpected bonus: Husband has found the book. Sure, he's reading it for the stereotypical chick-on-chick factor, but hey, expanding his play list might ending up working very well for me too! :D