End of An Era

Yes, sadly, Walter Cronkite has died. But that was someone else's era. (Insert joke about Walter who?)

Today while at Whole Paycheck, I glanced over the newspapers to see what local headlines there might be. I picked up the San Francisco paper as I often do, but something was wrong. I checked the header - ok, definitely the Chronicle, didn't have San Jose by mistake - so what was it? It was strange; like someone had moved the furniture in my house. And then I figured out what it was.

The paper had shrunk! I don't mean thickness; although the paper has been getting leaner and leaner over the past while, I mean the actual dimensions of the paper. Its now only about 2/3 of its normal size. What was throwing me was that the Chronicle was now the size of the local community rag. Totally wrong. Just felt *off* in my hands. Wrong size. Too small, IMO.

I know all the papers across the country are in trouble - if they haven't shut down already. And I guess I'm glad that the Chron seems to be slowly fading as opposed to just not being there, but I'm not sure. It almost seems like it would be better if it just stopped being, if that makes sense. I'm used to going places and not finding the newspaper. I'm not used to going and seeing a thin shadow of its former glory. More sad that way, I think.

So strange to think that papers will just cease to be during my lifetime. No, I'm not a regular reader, but they've just been a fixture in my life for 30 odd years.

Similarly: For those not in the know, I snagged a free telephone booth off of Craigslist a few weeks back. I was super excited; another one of those things I have strong memories and childhood associations with. I figured Mags would get a lot of fun out of it too. What a great thing for a kid to play with!

Me: (triumphantly) Mags! Mags! Look what I got!!

*pause*

Mags: (unconvinced) What is it? Why do you have a big box?

Me: No, no - look inside!

Mags: Is that a...phone?

Me: Yeah, this is a phone booth!!

Mags: (another pause) Why is there a phone in a box?

Then it hit me - she had no idea what a phone booth was! She'd never seen one before! And then, I felt very, very, VERY old.

Talk about someone else's era.

Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!

I was supposed to be attending a big campout this weekend. No, more than that - I was also supposed to be going early to help set up, hang decorations I made/acquired, AND spin a poolside set on Friday.

But I just sent an email to the powers that be that I'm not going to be able to make it. I basically spent the last 3 days a'bed and still feel kinda crappy, not to mention the full blown sinus infection I have. Really, going and doing lots of strenuous labor, staying up late and truing to sleep on a crappy mattress with a veriatble rave going on outside my door is not in my best interest.

But now I am wracked with guilt because I am putting myself and my health first. Friends that I am letting down! Extra work I am creating for others! How very very selfish of me! (Not that anyone has said a word, but this is how I feel.)

Yes, I am REALLY struggling with this. I was raised that if you weren't coughing up a lung or shitting blood that you were healthy enough to go to school/do what you needed to do. So this goes against, mmmm, everything I've been lead to believe for a large part of my life. Plus, I'll be missing a friends birthday to boot! AAAugh!

(Sigh) At least I have something to talk about with my therapist tomorrow. Like I'm ever short of fodder...

RIP Speedy

Mags' pet lizard died Sometime early Saturday. Not sure what from: cold, being picked up too often, not having the correct food, or PTSD (between being chased around your cage every day by a 5 year old or having a cat sit next to your cage peering in for hours at a time, I suspect neither is real good for the heart, ya dig?)

Mags actually did quite an impressive job with the lizard; we had a deal that she had to prove she was responsible with the pet or we would take it back to the ranch. And so every morning she would check the food and water of her new friend. In fact, this past Saturday was the first time I have found that water bowl empty (no one is perfect.)

But I'm also thinking maybe it was best that Speedy shed his mortal coil when he did because I think Mags' interest was starting to wane. As in, she hasn't checked the cage since Friday. As in, she hasn't noticed the ex-lizard having an open wake on our dining room table.

I'm gonna go have one for my homie (and by one I mean a shot of Theraflu.) So long, Speedy. We hardly knew ya, but you'll make good compost.

Day of Rest

Gave myself the day off yesterday. Actually, to be more correct, I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed. And to show how genuinely sick I was, with the exception of a 10 minute cry-fest in the morning, I didn't even feel guilty! Me! I must be near death...

Lots of coughing (sometimes to the point of gagging,) day-glo boogers, aches all over, sinus pain behind my EYEBROWS, and a slight fever. Did I mention everything but the coughing started after I started a course in antibiotics? Ihjad also been given an inhaler to help the cough ( I was getting tight chest/athsma like symptoms.) And it did help -- when I didn't lopse the inhaler itself. Le sigh.

Funny story: Husband and Mags had to go out yesterday evening, and I entertained myself in front of the tv. Grabbed some applesauce out of the fridge at one point. When they came home, the first thing Husband did was walk to the kitchen. "Aha", he said, "tat's why the house reeks of gas. Two of the burners of the stove were on."

"The house smells like gas? I totally can't tell! Oh. Maybe that's why I have a screaming headache, too."

"Umm, yeah, maybe."

So, I'm not sure how the gas got turned on. I definitely didn't try to cook anything, and the only thing I can think of is that I bumped not one but TWO knobs somehow when I got that applesauce. And by funny story, I mean I almost killed myself on accident. Ha! Hahahaha!

Not sure how today is going to go. I want nothing more than to spend the day in bed, but am feeling a bit panicked about how much stuff I need to get done. As it was I had to cancel a friend's photo shoot at her dance perforrmance (guilt!) Now I'm considering canceling my dj spot this weekend because tonight is the only night I can practicve on a pair of decks, and I don't have a set mad eyetr, and like I said, just want to lay down all day. Urg.

Think I will sleep til noon and see what happens after that. Wish me luck. Oh, and doctor's apopt tomorrow.

Might Actually Have to Turn Down Some Work

Nothing huge, but for a *really* fun-sounding project. I had sent in my info about 3 weeks ago and never heard back so I assumed it was a no-go. And I may still scare them away with my quote. But...you never know. Maybe the dates they need me will coincide with the end of my current projct. And maybe someday you'll see my work in that particular indie film.

Or maybe not. (trying to not feel angst-y about it. Not really succeding.)

What Do You Do When Stressed?

Procrastinate!

Check out this cool site! Folks who decorate cakes to look like Threadless (tm) tshirts. Some really amazing stuff in there, too. :)

Offspring Story of the Day

Last minute dropping Mags off at school. She is wearing her white with silver embroidery flower girl dress. I sit down to finish her hair on a bench. A little boy comes running up

Boy: (gushing) Mags, I LOVE your fancy dress! (giver her a hug)
Mags: Hello boyfriend. (hugs back) Now let me alone so my mom can finish my hair.

Dropped Some Stuff of at the Thrift Store Today

Would love to be a fly on the wall when they find the inflatable sheep.