Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!

I was supposed to be attending a big campout this weekend. No, more than that - I was also supposed to be going early to help set up, hang decorations I made/acquired, AND spin a poolside set on Friday.

But I just sent an email to the powers that be that I'm not going to be able to make it. I basically spent the last 3 days a'bed and still feel kinda crappy, not to mention the full blown sinus infection I have. Really, going and doing lots of strenuous labor, staying up late and truing to sleep on a crappy mattress with a veriatble rave going on outside my door is not in my best interest.

But now I am wracked with guilt because I am putting myself and my health first. Friends that I am letting down! Extra work I am creating for others! How very very selfish of me! (Not that anyone has said a word, but this is how I feel.)

Yes, I am REALLY struggling with this. I was raised that if you weren't coughing up a lung or shitting blood that you were healthy enough to go to school/do what you needed to do. So this goes against, mmmm, everything I've been lead to believe for a large part of my life. Plus, I'll be missing a friends birthday to boot! AAAugh!

(Sigh) At least I have something to talk about with my therapist tomorrow. Like I'm ever short of fodder...