Staring Down the Barrel of a (Hot Glue) Gun

Sometimes your mind can be so open that your brain falls out.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


So I found this cool picture on the internet and now I want to lasso about 50 of my friends (wait, I'm an introvert, I don't even *know* that many people!) ok, Max's friends together to help me make these cool butterflies for BM. They look super simple, like those flying pigs/mermaids/dragons you can get at CostPlus or whatnot. Two wings, a center body part, and I believe there will need to be some sort of hang-y weight thing dangling from the body. How cool would it be to walk under a flock? swarm? of these brightly colored bugs flapping overhead?!? And conveniently enough, this year's theme is 'Green Man', which is going to loosly translate into more nature crap on the playa than you can shake a fair-trade-harvested-organically-recycled-naked-hippie at.

I'd like to make them really big - say, 5' each? - like they are in the picture. I'm thinking foam core board. It's lightweight, and the design should be such that these'll fold up and travel pretty damn well. And there's a center in SF called SCRAP (something-mumble-reusable-art-supplies)where I think I'd be ablke to get *big* pieces of board el cheapo. In fact, I'd like to make them entirely out of salvaged art supplies and bits, and I think SCRAP is just the place to help me.

Nevertheless, even crazy cheap adds up, so if I was REALLY gonna do this, I could submit a proposal to the Art Council for BM, and possibly even get a small grant to do this. Ha! A proposal! Listen to me! I sound like I'd be strolling into a board room or something. Granted, this board room would probably be on the open, wind-swept playa, and there'd be a lone desk with a nude man wearing a bunny head sitting behind it, and I would have to drop acid before I gave it anyhow.

Blink, blink.

I need to iron a few details before I worry about the melty bunny man, however. Like, how would I suspend them? Would they get totally destroyed in the wind? Will I stab myself to a slow and irritating death with an exacto knife before I finish this project? Will the week suddenly produce an eigth day so I can actually do this? But its worth mulling over and blogging about.

I know! The Johnley's are coming to town next week for some hot snowbunny action in Tahoe with the gang. Being the mommy and not a particularly avid snowboarder, maybe I'll take some bare-bones materials to poke at this project, small scale. And make zombiegrrrl help me. :) Glue guns at the ready!

My guess is this idea will dwindle down to having a few - or maybe just one - at our camp to be used as a landmark. Oooh! Maybe I could somehow incorporate EL wire onto them so we could see them at night, too! *drool*

Monday, February 26, 2007

Grown up cookies


Houston, we've got a problem.

Mags, being her father's daughter (as opposed to the milkman or the UPS guy who is not bad looking but really yo've nothing to fear, Husband,) really really loves cookies. Really. Specifically, chocolate chip cookies. Mmmm, who doesn't?

And a few days ago she discovered a bag choc(olate) full of them in the freezer. Much excitement ensued. "Can I have a cookie, daddy? Just one, because if you have too many, you'll choke!"

I'm sure you are asking yourself, hmmm, how is it that in this particular household that an entire bag of cookies survived long enough to actually be frozen?

Two words: grown-up cookies. Cookies not intended for toddlers. Cookies not consumed by my husband. 'Mama's little helper' cookies. Cookies to give to BC for entertainment value when going out in public. Green cookies.

Yes, *those* cookies. Mags has found my stash of, ummm, mood stablizing cookies. Which is bad. Because while today she is grand about not going places or doing things she knows she's not supposed to, that day will come sooner than I'd like, and i'm going to have to find a different means of storage. Or buy a paddlock, which won't look suspicious at all.

As it stands for right now, Mags seems to be *some*what ok with the 'grown up' cookie explanation. Although I don't expect that to last terribly long; just last night she started in on the "But I'm growing up, see mama? See how big I am? Can I have a cookie now? I'm big, see?" So I think the plan is to just bury them deep into the recesses of our drawer-style freezer where she can't get at them (believe me, this is safe. Husband isn't capable of navigating the freezer these days. Every polar expidition to the south of our fridge ends up in a rant that goes something along the lines of: "Dammit, there's no room in here! Oh great, the potatoes are ate the BOTTOM of the drawer?! Now I've got to unpack the whole thing! Sonofa$@!@#!! Something just fell behind the drawer and I can't close it! I give UP! You! YOU need to eat more out of the fridge!" See? Definitely toddler-proof.) Then, after they are safely tucked away, we sneak another bag of NON-intoxicating chocolate chip cookies into the freezer, provide them with a flourish ("Taa-daa!"), finish the bag so there are 'none left, honey!', et voila. Problem (temporarily) solved.

And with this post, I officially drive the final nail into the coffin that bore the chances of my family ever reading this blog.

An email I sent to my CW teacher


I wasn't sure if you wanted one or both of my poems, so you got both. Lucky you.

I appreciate your comments about looking into getting my second poem published. Yes, I mentally did the happy dance all over the classroom and the entire caltrain ride home after reading your comments. And I have no shame in admitting that I eagerly ripped my daughter's artwork off the fridge so there was room to hang *my* homework. However, I got a bit embarrassed after the fact (not about the fridge); I don't think you're lying or blowing sunshine up my ... err, well, yeah, but its hard to think that something I wrote could actually get published. Sure, I thought it turned out pretty darn good, but published? Makes me a bit self conscious.

That being said, I *will* most likely contact the teacher you recommended come next quarter when she returns. I could use some practice at sticking my neck out and taking chances, and really, if it was liked, I have no problem buying more refrigerators if it *does* get published.

You will, of course, be responsible for the ensuing electric bill if that happens.


Offspring Story of the Day

Ok, really, I have *got* to find out where she picked this up....

Mags (singing in the car while being driven to daycare) : Sunday, Monday, happy days, Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days, Sunday, Monday, Happy days, one two three four, happy days....

Cold front

The National Weather Service has issued this Severe Weather Alert:

A slow moving cold front is moving through the San Francisco Bay area. In certain parts of the Peninsula, it is expected to last 7-10 days. This includes areas of low-lying mamas and patchy brain activity, with a 90% chance of snot showers. Sheets of sweat-soaked sheets may reach the ground, followed by a blanketing of blankets. Moist congestion will be swirling around at high- and mid-level altitudes. Angry and unpredictable stormclouds may be seen moving across spouses without warning. Precautions should be taken by citizens at all times.

Update: Tremors may be felt in the Greater Bay area caused by localized fits of earth-moving coughing. Citizens should have and consume plenty of water in case of major brain outages.

Again, Husbands and familiy members should brace themselves adequately to weather this particular low. We will continue tracking and updating forcast infomation for this front as information is received, so stay tuned.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I've got an idea

And I'm running with it. I've set the timer for 60 minutes to just keep poking at this one idea. Hopefully I'll flesh it out even a little bit, I *have* keep poking at it for a set amount of time, and maybe I'll actually find my groove and keep on going after the timer goes off.

Seeking motivation

Mags and Husband are off at a co-worker's son's bday party, and I am home all alone nursing my new cold (she says, spraying snot all over the screen.) I ran one or two errands, caught up a bit on email, and had some lunch. But what I really should be doing is my homework. I've got a 10 page short story I need to write for my CW class -- more correctly, at least start -- and I'm having a helluva time. I just can't figure out where I want the story to go, what the conflict is going to be, or how to do any of it! Ack! I'm feeling very.... stuck. I can't even gripe about it creatively here! My new thesaurus just showed up today (gold-plating to soon follow,) but the descriptive part isn't where i'm stuck. I need a plot. No, I need a conflict, 'cause at least then i can work and fill in the rest of the story.

I'm getting antsy, because it feels like my precious alone-time-for-working is slipping away. PLus, now that i've gotten even more praise from my teacher, I almost feel a little pressure to perform. Well, from me, anyhow. How can I be so good at this one aspect of wtiting and draw a total blank in another?

What are some good generic conflicts, or one you'd want to see in a story sometime? Keep in mind, this is for a short story.....

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Really, he has *got* to stop doing that!

Our CW teacher returned our poetry assignments in class today. This time, he wrote that he wants me to talk to another teacher and see what I need to do to actually try and get at least one of my poems published.

Blink, blink.

I don't have the paper in front of me right now, and frankly, my brain is in a state of shock, so I don't have the exact wording. But I remember it was enough that I had to fight the urge to explode all over the classroom again. I'm almost afraid to read the comments again -- I had such a strong viceral response to the praise. Damn.


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Offspring Story of the Day

Mags: (In the back seat of the car) We don't go in the road because cars will squish us, right Mama?
Me: That's right.
Mags: Whats that, Mama?
Me: Well, those people are riding their bicycles in the road.
Mags: (pause) Let's squish them!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Oh my god

What if they hate my dress? What if they reject it? When I look at my dress, all I can see are flaws, flaws, flaws. Will others see them too?



Kids do enjoy the simplest toys. That whole line about buying a kid a gift and they just play with the box? So true.The things that get the most bang for the buck entertainment-wise around our house are: Play-Doh, a bowl of beads, a bucket of dried pinto beans, and Q tips.

I've long since given in to the mixing of colors with the PD, and my life has gotten easier for it. I know that if I even need to buy some time for myself, and I don't want to just slap Mags in front of the tv, I can just throw out th magic phrase, and she'll go galluping over to her little table and start prying open the kid-sized tubs with her toddler claws. It's a good thing its so inexpensive, because she's not so good at the putting away of PD yet. Lots of dried PD turds lying about our house. Not to mention stuffed into Matchbox cars.

Oh sure, both the beans and the beads started out well organized and with lofty ambitions. I got her a generic bucket o' random beads with a couple of shoestrings thinking she'd string them together and make bracelets or something. Well, one lynched teddy bear later, the beads are used more for play cooking, being driven around in the back of toy trucks, and just scattered around the house in general. Mostly I think she just likes the texture. The pinto beans were just a way to get rid of a mostly unused $.99 bag that was gathering dust in my cabinet (and a step up hassle-wise form the rice I first let her play with.) These too end up scattered around the house, swelling and gumming up the drain after sitting in the bathtub dampness, or stuck to the bottom of your feet like permanent safety bumps.

How does that line go? Y'know, the one about best laid plans? The beans and beads went from having their own individual clear, closeable containers, down to sharing one closed container, to sharing a bowl on the shelf, to sharing a bowl on the floor, to laying out on a blanket for easy clean up. to never cleaned up, to festooning the entire floor of Mags' play area, to creeping out into the rest of the house. I need the vaccuum equivalent of a rideable lawn mower to pick all of these up. I don't really try so hard these days.

(Side story: today Mags put handfuls of her very own secret blend of beans/beads into her shopping cart to, well, I'm not sure, but she did. Unfortunately, the shopping cart is, not suprisingly, full of holes. Unfortunately, she did this over a heating vent. Too bad it wasn't popcorn.)

Her most recent novelty are Qtips. She has taken to grabbing handfuls of them out of the bathroom drawer, and doing random things with them, again in all areas of the house. They are cropping up in the strangest places: the toy box, kitchen counters, bedroom floor -- pretty much every place but where they belong. Maybe I should enforce some sort of boundary here -- this new habit seem to drive Husband nuts -- but again, they don't cost anything. And they hurt less to step on than the beads.

Through this all, there is a mound of plush beasts that tend to go unplayed with, blocks that grow bored, and a menagerie of other toys that really don't get the time of day unless another child dares to play with them. Her birthday is in April, and I'm realizing I don't really have to get her anything big and exciting. She's perfectly content to trace her hand on a piece of paper, or use the glue stick to adhere magazines directly to the table, or shove PD into a teapot.

Its just cute.

Oh yeah, and...

...uhhh, its nice that this is for a good cause, too.



It is done.

Today I officially turned in my dress to St. VdP. That f***er took me so much longer than I thought it would. I am such an idiot for taking on that project with only 3 weeks to start and complete it. But it is done. And I am very pleased with myself. Now I get to tell everyone about it so that they can go see it, or at least shower me with congratulatory e-mails. :) I can guarantee my aunt -- who is constantly trying to nag me into going for Project Runway -- is going to be super happy to see this. Too bad she lives in Wisconsin.

Its fairly similar to the sketch, although you can see there are plenty of changes. The sleeves got dropped, the skirt is all one color, the underskirt just turned into an inset and yes, we have pockets (which I think look GREAT!) I'm particulary fond of a detail I added to the back (I'll see if I can figure out how to post a second photo,) there are two darts down the lower back, and I topped each one with an epaulette from the sleeves. There are a few things that got a little funky, like the top of the lining (yes, I even lined it,) but obviously its not visible, so I'm hoping it'll sneak by any judges that might get employed.

I still struggle with the ... simpleness? Plainness? Cleanliness of the design? I'm afraid it'll be laughed right out of the auction by stunning ballgowns made of shower curtains or tuxedos made out of doilies or something. Granted, I did float home from school on Tuesday because so many students came up and gushed over the in-progress work (I even got some very positive feedback form teachers as well.) My personal favorite compliment was "I would totally wear that." Glow, get the picture. I was reminded while chatting with someone who stopped to admire it that I really did do all of this in a mere 3 weeks, so for 3 weeks worth of work, I think it looks fantastic. If I were to do this again, hopefully having a lot more time to prepare, I think my work would reflect that too.

I learned a ton of stuff making this dress: what to do, what order to do things in, what to avoid, how much time to allot for the project AND how much oh-shit-I-fucked-up time. I learned I really relly need a ress form at home, or at least one not sized to my Amazon proportions. If I were to do it all again, there are a few changes I'd make to this design. Most notably, I'd get rid of the front waist triangle, I think. The seams seem kind of odd to me with it being the same color as the rest of the skirt; that was an eleventh hour change to the original design. I'd make the skirt just go all the way to the waistline and have the darts go all the way up as well. The darts loook so clean and crisp, especially on the back! I do still have the pattern; just a few changes here and there....

And yes, I am glad it's done. I really struggled with channeling time away from my family to do this, not to mention it overlapped quite painfully with a huge sewing project I had to do for an actual class. And there is a dollop of empty nest syndrome that's here as well. Like, that's it. I've handed it over and it is no longer my property. I dunno that I've ever made something -- at school at least -- without the specific goal of making it for myself or for my portfolio. Strange. Husband misunderstood when I told him and actually offered to go to the auction so we could bid on it to get it back, which stuck me as awfully sweet. Then I imagined the auction scene from 'The Addams Family' and pictured Husband and I as Gomez and Morticia Addams and I started to laugh. Well, at least we've got the heights right. :)

I feel like I'm suddenly at the Oscars here, but I really do owe so much to Husband for helping me through this project (pulls out list of names: "...and my hairdresser, and my florist, and the guy in the parking garage...") Oh sure, there was that whole divorce scare when he laughed in my face, but he more than made up for it by helping keep the dishes out of control, watching Mags when I'd stay late at school, patting my hand and making soothing noises when I would stress about my design, and for working at home for the entire day on Thursday to watch Mags when my 'I just need to finish a few quick things' turned into an unexpected 8 hours at school all the way in the city. Truly, this would not be done without him.

I just read some of the fine print on the paperwork, and it read, "The pieces you create and donate will be displayed at various public venues throughout San Francisco (blah blah) then featured at a special preview at the de Young on April 20." Wow! My piece might be displayed at some other port of call too! Exciting!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Pins and Needles

Only 2 days to go on my SVdP dress!

I'm sure this is gonna require a late/all-nighter on Wednesday evening, but will actually get done and turned in on Thursday! I got my draping done, transfered into a pattern, a muslin )mock up) sewn and fitted, pattern changes made, and the fabric actually cut out! My hope is that today, I can get all of the pieces sewn together, and tomorrow put in the zipper and the lining. Not an unrealistic set of goals, I think -- except that all of my sewing goals end up being unrealistic (rolls eyes.)

There've been a few changes: its now sleeveless- partially for time management but also because I think it looks better sans sleeves; the small waist triangle is going to be the same color as the rest of the skirt; there's no underskirt anymore, but instead its a chocolate brown panel sewn on (the skirt hangs better; and in order to have enough wool from the coat i was using, i had to incorporate the pockets into the skirt. That's the change I'm most curious about. It's like sewing in the dark -- how will this turn out?

I'll try and take some pix today of work in progress. Off to school! :)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Here's what it looks like

This is a quick and dirty sketch of what my finished SVdP outfit is *supposed* to look like. I'll be curious to see what actually happens. Definitely not glamorous, but still dressy, I thought. And hopefully a lot more likely to sell if it can actually be worn day-to-day.

The top part - striped and solid brown - are knit, made from old turtlenecks. Its going to have a cowl neckline in the front; that's not just an inability to draw straight lines, btw. The small triangle panel is also the knit, but will have some sort of woven fabric behind it for stability. The sides of the skirt are (so far) going to be part of a wool coat I grabbed. I'm pretty sure i'm not going to have enough, so I'll probably be stopping back to pick up more supplies tomorrow. The orange-ish trim is actually going to be leather strips from a destroyed coat I got, and the dark brown underskirt? I dunno what I'm going to use for that. I just know that's the color I'm aiming for. Again, more 'shopping' tomorrow.

I've started draping the outfit onto the manequin at school, and hope to finish it tomorrow. Then I can actually start sewing this weekend (fingers crossed.)

Oh, and I'm going to see about getting a headless model for the show as well, to keep with the whole 'look' of my drawing.

The Frog and the Scorpion

I came home from school about two weeks ago brimming with enthusiasm about a flyer I'd seen at school. Turns out St. Vincent de Paul is having a fundraiser called Discard 2 Divine. All fashion students and fashion designers in SF (possibly the Bay Area) are eligible to enter. Basically you show up at SVdP, they let you troll through some of their donations, you grab whatever you want to use, and you have to come up with an original coture clothing design using only the materials you got from them: coats, pants, tableclothes, pillows -- whatever. Then there is an auction for all of the garments created to help SVdP.

Pretty cool, you think. But it gets better. Last year the event was held at the Gap headquarters, drew about 400 people, and raised $15K. This year, before the auction at the Gap, there is going to be a ONE DAY DISPLAY of all the entries at the de Young Museum in GG Park!! Yah! How f'ing cool would it be to be able to say that, "yeah, something I made was on display that the de Young Museum..." Wow. Wow. Wow.

Another great thing is is there is no fee to enter, and you aren't officially registered until you turn something in. So, I figure, I can give it a try, and if I just don't ahve the time, then no harm done. There's not going to me an empty spot at the de Young that is labeled "Mama Pajama -- NOT FINISHED ON TIME". (Geez, the humiliation likes which I haven't seen since high school.) Downside to all of this? When I found out about this whole thing, there was only 3 weeks left until the due date. As of today, we're down to 7 days left.

So, I decided to go for it. I went in, got my materials, and downloaded the application. But, I held off on telling Husband, because I had a pretty good idea wht his reaction was going to be. Nor was I disappointed when I told him. It went something like: "Bwahahahahahaha!"

"See?!? I KNEW you'd laugh at me!!" Tears of mirth are ready to roll down his cheeks.

"No honey, I'm not laughing at you. Well, not exactly. It's jsut so like you! 'My goal is to have less stuff on my plate. Which is why I've registered to do this enormous project with only 3 weeks to do it in!' You're like the frog and the scorpion: 'Will you sting me if I get on your back as you swim across the river? "No, I won't.' 'Hey, you stung me!' ' Sorry, it';s just my nature!'"

By now he can hardly catch his breath. Impressively, he's still able to dodge the pillows that are being aimed at his smirking face.

Anyhow, I'm still poking along at it. I'll probably get it all done, if only for the reason that I've started telling people about it and don't want to look like a quitter. I figure once the divorce goes through I'll have plenty of free time.

Oooops, was that my out loud voice?

more info about the event at:

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Giddy, Gleeful, Glowing, Gloating

i (heart) my creative writing class so FUCKING MUCH. god DAMN!

oh, sure, it doesn't hurt that I am KICKING ASS up, down and sideways. It doesn't hurt that the teacher interrupts my small group to gasp with pleasure at my homework. It doesn't hurt that he writes things on my returned assignments like "stunning - and this is the first time teaching CW at [college] that i have described a student's work as stunning" and "best in class" and "with your permission I'd like to use copies of this to hand out as examples in future classes, as well as post it to the liberal studies board (for other instuctors to see)".

No, it does not hurt at all.

I'm not even touching my chair right now - i'm floating above it. As we left for break right now, my teacher actualle ended up in the same stairwell as I did. No, he did not push me up against the wall, overcome with desire to make out with my flowery tongue. Even better! He told me that he enjoys my writing immensley, he thinks i am incredibly talented, and unlike most of the work he sees as a teacher, when he reads my stuff, he thinks to himself that this is something he would read outside of the classroom. Like for FUN. And we're talking about POETRY here!!

Giddy is the word; I confessed to him that I had to restrain myself from jumping up and doing an ecxtatic happy dance in the middle of last class when he gave back the homework. As it was, I nearly exploded all over the place in a sticky, drippy joyous mess. Some quick plastic surgery has hit the marks where my grin split my face in two.

My ego has officially reached Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade proportions. I feel like going home and knocking Mags' art off the fridge so I can display my homework. It's no wonder I have to restrain myself from barging into class every week, demanding 'No, read mine first!' I think I'm going to buy a gold-plated thesarus. No, really. Because apparently it has given me the Midas touch, bay-bee!

Dude. My hands are shaking.

A last note: in fairness, i get critisicm from him as well. he does not sing my praises in front of anyone else, he is very vocal in praise to everyone, and is a very fair grader (I'm not thrilled about it, but I've gotten a zero and a C on two of my quizzes so far. No favoritism here. Meh.) And my grade'll get docked if I don't head back to class pronto, so I must away.

My pen and paper! They call to me!


Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Extrovert moment

I must not be feeling well... I just keep talking to random people! Take today's gem at school, for example:

(in elevator with several other folks; specifically a man and two women talking to each other.)
Woman #1: So, how're things going with you?
Woman #2: Oh, y'know, things are pretty good, although I wish I could lose weight faster.
Me (out of the blue): Oh, so you don't have a personal trainer and chef like Madonna?
Woman #2: (chuckles) No, and I can't sing like her either.
Random Guy: Well, thank god for that!
(everyone laughs)
Me: Yeah, but I bet you dance around the house in your underwear like she does.

Right. I'm gonna stop there. Because really, anything after that doesn't matter. Truly. After telling a complete stranger you think she lip synchs to Madonna in her underwear in front of an elevator full of people, what else is there?

Quickie break

Had to get out of class for a while. I spent about 7 hours yesterday grading patterns at home (taking a pattern and making it one size bigger, then one size bigger again, etc.) and now i'm in class for another 4 doing the same thing. As we speak, blood is splashing from my eyes onto the keyboard because I am SO OVER IT. Gaaa.

Some woman from the group that accredits schools stopped into class earlier. She was very pleasant and had a short list of questions she asked the class in an informal manner while we all made even more patterns. I know she was expecting to hear a certain number of complains about the school, but I think I was just as startled to hear the nonstop stream of venom spewed. What really blew me away was when she asked the class, after listening to a steady tirade of gripes, was how many students would recommend the school to friends/incoming students/etc, and only two out of 15 raised their hands. She stood there silently for a brief moment, an oh-my-god-what-do-i-say-now smile frozen on her face, and then she blinked, said "Thanks for your time!" and bolted as gracefully for the door as she could.

I was amazed!! I had no idea the school was not that popular! Of course I was one of the two that raised their hands, as most of my negative experiences here have been self-inflicted, like being a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and mother to a child. I will agree, there are faults to this school. There are some teachers, who while very smart, should not be teaching. They could offer more classes at any given time. Administration is difficult to get a hold of. True, true and true. Most of the people who spoke up are also people who are pretty smart/apply themselves, etc, so I can't totally chalk this up to a bunch of slackers. But I also cannot shake the feeling that these people are YOUNG and have a much different expectation of what school is or how it operates or what the real world is like.

When I was in my early 20s, I had similar attitudes as well, so I get it. And I'm gonna make myself sound really old here, but I think society also trains kids in school to be fed information, and not to work for it yourself. Granted, I agree that in a class there should be balance between the two. But I also feel that in the real world you need to a) pay attention when the teacher talks, b) take notes, and c) maybe not party every night. Sometimes you've got to make sacrifices to get stuff done. Duh.

I know one teacher in particular drives people nuts. She's really popular, and everyone likes her from a social standpoint, but they think she's a super crappy teacher because she gives you an assignment and then kind of walks away while you do the work. Now, keep in mind that if you have any questions, she will happily come by and work with you. And yes, maybe when she sits at the end of the work table and reads Vanity Fair, it doesn't look so great. But I've never walked out of her class not having learned a ton. In fact, She's one of my favorite teachers period the end.

Arg. I just got really angry listening to this handful of students doing nothing but bitch and not offering a single good thing to say. I'm gonna go cruis around and see if I can find this woman and give her maybe an older perspective on the school.

Darn whippersnappers!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Pros and cons of sewing

Maybe I should be more specific: sewing in the NUDE.

Now, before you choke on your frosted flakes, let me state for the record that this is a fairly common practice with home sewers. On the flip side, one would probably not be suprised to find that this is less everyday with people who work in the industry, as then there is no where to put your bus pass or cell phone.

But for those of us staking out our sewing homestead on the dining room table, thereby forcing the rest of our families to eat dinner at the toddler's play-doh table, this is old news. I can't speak for others, but I first got into the habit when sewing clothes for myself. Can I just tell you how much time I saved by not dressing/undressing each time needed to fit something to myself? Extra bonus, as I always underestimate how long things are gonna take -- those loose minutes here and there add up.

There are a many other benefits to sewing sans vetements:

* if its hot outside, you can laugh at all the people sweating.
* you hardly ever get asked to go out and see if the mail is there yet.
* husbands tend to find excuses to come over and brush stray threads off of you.
* if for some reason you just cannot be bothered to physically get up and go to the restroom, at least you won't have made extra laundry for yourself

However, for every naked action, there is and equal and opposite naked reaction. I offer a few for your perusal:

* pins can poke you in a whole new variety of places.
* suddenly, your short and curlies become a lint brush.
* if you have cloth-covered chairs, like, say, our new table set, the weave presses into your ass and makes it itch like hell when you stand up.
* friends tend to not ever want to sit down at your house.

So there you have it. Just in case you were suddenly thinking of making a costume or a career change, these are things you should keep in mind. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go rip off my clothes and sew in the ray of sun pouring in through my skylight.

Sidenote: Check in next week for my next sewing related topic: "The Singer Weight-Loss Program, or How I Managed to Forget to Eat for 10 Hours While Sewing".