Staring Down the Barrel of a (Hot Glue) Gun

Sometimes your mind can be so open that your brain falls out.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Parenting Highlight (Not)

Ah, the perfect storm: sleep deprived, stressed, PMSing, and an overly-squirmy 5 year old built entirely (at least it felt like) out of knees and elbows crawling all over you.

I did not realize how close I was to my limit until *snap!* I totally lost it last night. I'd been trying to watch a movie with Mags last night ("Who is that? Is he the bad guy? Is Harry going to get hurt? Is she dead? Are those spiders real? Can I have more milk? Will you get me a snack?") while she crawled all over me. Constant. Nonstop. Talking. And Movement. I had taken a small pad of paper away from her when it was time to go upstairs, and she lunged bak at me to get it, smacking my chin with herforhead in the process. Getting smacked in the face is bad enough, but combine that with a day of being climbed over AND a screw in my chin from the surgery that has not healed yet, and well, you get


Reflexively I smacked Mags on the forhead with the paper.

She stared at me with shock and horror before bursting in to tears. I nearly rolled my eyes out of my head before starting to comfort her. Oh, and then the guilt started.

"You (sob) you HIT ME!"
"You're right, Mags, I should not have done that."
"Mamas (hiccup) DON'T HIT!"
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry."
"I didn't bonk you on PURPOSE! (sob, sob)"
"I know, honey, I know."

Oh, and here's the best part. She whipped out the Golden Rule (or a preschool variation thereof,) and used it against me!

"When someone does something bad to you, (sniffle) you're not supposed to do something bad back!" And then she promptly hacked a fine mist all over my face, lightly sprinkling droplets of her germy cold all over my glasses and mucus membranes, I'm sure.

Guilt AND germs. I ground my teeth together. I utterly fucking hate being a parent sometimes.

Lucky for her she was awfully cute the rest of the night after we talked for a bit (although I'm not sure 'talking' wasn't me groveling a little bit in delerium just to get her to SHUT UP.) Oh, and she was up way too late because I just didn't have the energy to nag her into bed at the appropriate time. A slippery slope that is. Gotta get this sleep thing under control or she'll really walk all over me.


At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Meredith said...

Oh been there done that. One night I was so fed up with LM's nonstop in your facisms and was trying to get him dressed for bed in his room when once more he got his hands all in my face (on purpose because he knows we hate it) when before I knew it, I just shoved him away from me. Thing is he tripped over a blanket on the floor behind him and fell in such a way that his back scraped up against the edge of the bed causing him a lot of pain, the need for ice and neosporin, and me to feel horrible. He sobbed that I pushed him and I held him and said I was sorry and that pushing him away from me so that he would stop waving his hands in my face was wrong. It was great having him tell his teachers the next day that I pushed him. It is so hard to be a parent a lot of the time.

At 10:13 AM, Anonymous zombiegrrrl said...

All you did was hit her with paper? That doesn't sound bad to me. More of a "Wake up! That hurts!" Sucks that she got so upset, though.

Bean loves to stand on my bare feet as he's clinging to me - especially if I'm sitting down. I try to tell him it hurts, but he doesn't get it so I end up moving. He also occasionally will hit you in the head with a toy when he gets excited. Guh.

We're starting to walk that line where we tell him no firmly, but not so firm as to make him cry. The other side is if it's not firm enough, he thinks your joking and he smiles, shakes his head and says "NONONONO."

It's definitely tough when you're tired, they've been literally on top of you for what seems like forever and then they really sock it to you. Fighting that urge to just get the "offender of your space and person" away from you as quickly as possible (shove, swat, taser, etc) is tough. Almost impossible when they actually cause you pain.

Maybe it's just my East Coast-ness, but I think the occasional swat with a rolled up paper (lightly, of course) is fine if - after verbal pleading - you need to snap them out of a bombardment of pointy elbows and knees, grabby hands, and stompy feet. Sometimes words just go unheard or ignored. Like a "Hey! Pay attention! This isn't ok!"


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