Cold front

The National Weather Service has issued this Severe Weather Alert:

A slow moving cold front is moving through the San Francisco Bay area. In certain parts of the Peninsula, it is expected to last 7-10 days. This includes areas of low-lying mamas and patchy brain activity, with a 90% chance of snot showers. Sheets of sweat-soaked sheets may reach the ground, followed by a blanketing of blankets. Moist congestion will be swirling around at high- and mid-level altitudes. Angry and unpredictable stormclouds may be seen moving across spouses without warning. Precautions should be taken by citizens at all times.

Update: Tremors may be felt in the Greater Bay area caused by localized fits of earth-moving coughing. Citizens should have and consume plenty of water in case of major brain outages.

Again, Husbands and familiy members should brace themselves adequately to weather this particular low. We will continue tracking and updating forcast infomation for this front as information is received, so stay tuned.