Gritting my teeth

Ok, so maybe I'm old. But I remember when libraries were something of a sacred place; a hallowed ground to go and meditate over books. And by meditate, I mean there was QUIET.

But I'm sitting in the public library trying to hammer out a paper for school, and I'm realizing I'd actually be getting more accopmplished at home with a near 3-year old running around tugging at me. Christ, this place is loud! Really, its nothing but teenagers checking their MySpace accounts, talking on their cell phones, and just being loud in general. Where are the wizened librarians, swooping down out of their perches on high, dusty shelves to chastize, threaten and expel those who dared break the silence?

Even more ridiculous is the fact that the library has a quiet study section (yay!) but it closes at 7pm (wtf?) Since when wasn't the entire library a silent study section, and if they're going to have one, what can possibly be the reason for closing it EVER? What, people don't need to study or concentrate after dinner?

Yes, I have a large, book-shaped chip on my shoulder about this. I *lived* at the library when I was growing up. I'd walk from my grandmother's house on 58th street all the way up National Avenue to 75th nearly every day of summer vacation, and almost every day after school, both grade- and high-. I'd get a stack of books, find a fairly secluded corner, and curl up into some unnatural position in the armchairs provided and completely lose myself in book after book. More often than not I'd be late for dinner. There was the smell of polish from the real wood floors and banisters, and those incredible card cataolgues (that's a whole other rant I have. I found an amazing array of books just by stumbling across random cards in the catalogue that I otherwise would not have ever discovered - impossible to do on a lifeless COMPUTER.) Bliss! Introvert nirvana! My tribe!

But now when I go to libraries, sure, they might be full of youth/teens, but I'm fairly sure I have yet to see one actually reading a BOOK. The Library is just a place to hang out, like a paper-lined mall. Even if a student actually has to do research for a school project, its just researched on a computer. Books? How very old school.

I want my old library back. I want to step in and feel enveloped in sound-dampening isles of books. I want the security of knowing that there are quiet corners I can curl up in. I miss having librarians who seemed accessable and useful, not just someone sitting behind a desk who looks put out and directs me towards a computer when I need help finding something. Hell, I even miss the sound of the inside of a book's cover being stamped by some pursed-lipped librarian (self-serve check outs? Good grief!)

I'm wrapping up my work now, escorted out of the library by someone's Brittany Spears ringtone, and the image of some 13-year old's MySpace wallpaper (the Playboy bunny symbol, how very appropriate!)

I feel old and crotchety and generation-gap-y. How can I be old enough to be part of a generation gap? I mean, other than between me and my mom's generation? Meh! Where's my walker? God damned whippersnappers!