HA!

A friend of mine sent this to me today. This was a post I'd sent out to our funny list about two years ago.

For reference:

midge (mj) n.
1. Any of various gnatlike flies [...], found worldwide and frequently occurring in swarms near ponds and lakes.
2. Any of various similar dipteran insects, such as the biting midges of the family Ceratopogonidae.

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Some of you may recall the occasional updates I sent from Scotland while we were on our honeymoon. Recently, someone (*cough*Dug*cough*) redirected me to a response I sent about the midges. It made me laugh so I'm going to force you all to read it:

Remember those pesky midges? Well, in the 10 years of my hardcore, smutty, historical romance novels that took place in the beautiful untamed wilderness of the Scottish highlands, not ONCE, mind you, did I ever read about midges. I've yet to read a passage that goes:

"He laid her soft, willing body down on his kilt in the heather. 'I'll keep you
warm,' he growled low in his throat as he exposed her pale, shivering flesh to
the afternoon breeze and pressed his throbbing manhood against her thigh. As she
reached down to guide his velvet sheathed man-rod into her moist, throbbing
space, they were suddenly set upon my an enormous swarm of biting, nasty midges
attracted by the sudden release of body heat and carbon dioxide coming from
their bodies. Screaming, she leapt to her feet and went running into the lake to
keep the icky things off her, while he swatted at the biting insects attacking
his now shriveling member."

Yeah, I can see how that would detract from book sales quite a bit, but way to toy with the imagination of a 16 year old girl! For shame!