My Kid Rocks

Amazingly enough, Husband and I had weekend plans last week. An invitation-only rave, and we miraculously ended up on the invite list without even trying! Dancing! Grown ups! Babysitter! The mind boggles! But I knew, realistically, even under the best of circumstances, I couldn't have gone. My sleep is just too precariously balanced, even when I'm not behind. I'd known going into the weekend that I probably wasn't gonna be able to go, short of some miracle.

Saturday night my mood was even more blue that usual. I've been pretty worn down from the dress, on top of my usual exhaustion issues. So literally, by 2pm that day, I was a wreck. Easily could've gone to bed. In fact, should have napped, but I was trying to be a hero and push through. Yeah, someday I'll learn...maybe...

Night rolled around and I found myself barely awake on the couch at 830 while Husband prepared to head out. I'd told him he should go - there was no logical reason for him to stay home if Mags and I were just gonna be crashed out anyhow - but I was still in a foul mood. It rolled over me in waves, anger and frustration and self-pity and anger and just...everything. Quietly I started to weep.

Mags had been puttering around the living room, getting her myriad of books, animals and random tinkertoys ready for bed. Husband told her it was time to head upstairs. But before she jumped into his arms, she grabbed her doll blanket and laid it over my torso. "Here you go, sweetheart," she said, not noticing my tears. "You get some good rest and I'll see you in the morning." She leaned over and gave me a sweet kiss.

I started to cry harder, amazed by the selfless love I was receiving from a 3 year old. "Mama!" she asked, shocked. "Why are you crying?!"

I tried to explain how even Mamas get tired of being sick and having headaches and being sleepy all the time, and how grown ups get frustrated too. "But then a friend comes and makes you feel all better," she said, crawling onto the couch next to me, "by snuggling and giving you hugs!" She closed her eyes and carefully placed slow kisses on my chin and cheek.

"Yes," I replied, still crying, but with a chest full of love. "Yes they do."