Angry Day

Today kinda sucked. Oh, the sewing is coming along nicely, and I had a nice lunch outside in the sun (even though it was cold and windy.) Just had a lot on my mind, and instead of spiraling down, I spiraled up. Or maybe bigger. Not quite sure how to phrase it, except I got angry. Revisited a problem I had, which lead to thinking about another probelm, and I realized IO was angry about that too. And I kept on going until I realized I was actually very *angry* about many things in my life, as well as frustrated, or sad, or confused. I'm angry at my sister-in-law for spending my entire marriage trying to vilify me to her family, I'm angry at a friend who wrote me out of her life last year with a meager 3 line email. I'm angry at my first boyfrined. I'm angry at part s of my marriage. I'm angry at my body for utterly betraying me for no apparent reason. I'm angry at the way I look, and the unfairness of the whole health package. I'm angry that for the second time the economy has tanked just as I was entering the work force. I'm angry that we still have pantry moths and I can't figure out where they're coming from! Oh god, the list just goes ON.

I used to really enjoy sewing for the zen-ness of it, for lack of a better term. I could sit down to sew and kind of chill inside my brain. Apparently those days are gone; now I go in my brain and pick up whatever issue is bothering me and run with it. Dammit. Guess maybe the upside to that is I'm a skilled enough sewer to the point where I totally don't have to think about sewing and can check out that hard, huh? Hmmm, maybe I just need harder projects.

Luckily I had to meet the fam at dinnertime and got totally distracted. Easy enough to do when you are meeting them at the Fairway of a carnival, n'est-ce pas? Yeah, one of the local churches hired a bunch of mobile carnival rides for their fundraiser/festival, and Mags sees to be of the age where she'd appreciate it. And I think she did, mostly. Mostly she wanted to just win the giant stuffed Tweety Bird and to crawl inside my sweater (she was pretty badly underdressed for the temperature swing that hit the area.) We did catch a couple of insanely overpriced rides and eat some ridiculously overpriced food, though before we went home. Will probably go back at some point this weekend to use up the last of our ride tickets. Seriously. So crazy expensive. Even for a fundraiser!

But I digress. Got distracted, which was my point anyhow. I think all the noise and the blinky lights and the slightly whiny child got me good and distracted, because when I went back to work at 9pm, I was fine. Productive, but more importantly, les in the mood to bawl, which I will take as a good sign. Here's hoping tomorrow is also good and distracted and productive.