Making Me Look and Feel Bad
A few years back, my cousing married a really sweet gal from Turkey, who's drive and desire had always been to become a fashion designer. They moved to NYC, ans while she was waiting for her citizenship to be finalized, she got a job working in a bridal boutique while continuing to do her own stuff on the side. Today my mom forwarded me an email that my cousin-in-law had sent. Apparently she'd doing some fashion show down in the Bahamas and has to come up with 50 pieces to display. She also included some photos of recent work she had done as well. Stunning stuff.
Not surprisingly, I started to feel bad about how little I feel like Ive accomplished, and how tiny my portfolio is compared to hers, all with being about 10 years older than she is. Didn't help that the aunt she'd been writing to in the first place is my Aunt Mags too. I may have mentioned I was supposed to make a dress for my A. Mags - fittings and everything from Cali, mind you - for her son's wedding. Eventually she freaked out that it wasn't done yet - still had 3 months until the wedding - and basically told me to forget it, and has not really spoken to me since. So yes, seeing her gush over the inlaw while giving me the cold shoulder stung. A lot.
Eventually I'd really like to find a place where I am ok with myself and my life and not worry about the fact that even at 34 years old I still seem to be a crushing disappointment to my family...
Oh, and not to dis my cousin-in-law, here are some of the fantastic things she's made.