Great Way to Start the Morning

Woke up at 5 am today, listening to some critter rustling around outside. Totally woke me up into super-attentive mode, so I couldn't fall back asleep. Not a 100% loss because I had to get up at 6anyhow to finish cleaning the house for the party. Which now that I think about it is kind of a loss, too.

I'd woken husband up accidentally, so we chatted for a bit. In passing, he mentioned being bummed about missing his brothers DJ gig the night before. Seems there was a huge throw-down at Moffet Field, of all places. Sure, I saw others on our list chatting about it, but my brain read 'Yoshi's', which is a jazz club I'm neutral about, so I deleted them all without reading.

I can't tell you how crappy hearing about the party made me feel. Or more specifically, missing the party. While the entire rest of the world (in my mind, at least) thumps along to juicy beats, shakes their asses, and gets dressed up to go out, I lie in bed listening to raccoons and fret about what kind of snacks to get for a 3 year olds birthday party. Whee. Put on your seat belts, folks.

Its no wonder I'm so desperate to go to the desert every year and eke as much out of it as I can. I'm resentful, and angry, and frankly want off of the grown-up responsible ride for a while. Like the next 10 years. Oh, and then I feel guilty for feeling crappy about this important day for my daughter. Whee. Suddenly that seat belt is feeling a bit too snug.

I know I need to snap out of this funk and get into the right mindset for this party. What I really want to do is throw myself down onto the couch face first and have a good party of my own (pity party, that is,) but the uber-responsible person in me is already berating me for sitting down to write period when I should be scrubbing the kitchen and shoveling crap off the counters. That's why I got up early, right? So why am I wasting time?

If you suddenly stop seeing blog entries for a long period of time, you'll know I opened my seat belt...