MWF Seeks Happy Place

Yikes, what a morning. Actually, the past week has been fairly ugly, but I'll only turm my mental magnifying glass on the past 3 hours:

*Woke up at 7am. Realize my mouth is completely parched, which means I've had my mouth open and therefore have been sleeping like shit. Am totally exhaused.

*I also have my mystery headache, which I've been waking up with for the past two weeks. If its anything like the rest of the run so far, it'll last til about 5 or 6 pm tonight. Hooray! No idea what's causing them (Meds? Sleep problems?) but they're seriously freaking me out, because nothing has really changed in my daily routine recently and they feels like the headaches I used to get prior to the surgery. Please god, no.....

*I stagger downstairs to find Husband and Mags reading a book. Very sweet -- except they've been up for 40 minutes, he has to leave in 15, and there has been zero attempt at eating breakfast, or getting dressed, or getting stuff together for daycare.

*Mags is trying out her newest form of toddler drama. Everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - is met with wailing and crying. Seriously. Example: Comes downstairs, snuggles under a blanket on the couch, and immediately starts bawling about wanting warm milk. Another: I ask her to please eat her cereal so we can get going. She asks me to sit and watch her. I tell her I have things I need to do. She buries her head in her arms on the table; bawls. (And don't be fooled or think she's ill or something. If you ignore her for 3 minutes, it all stops.) Much teeth grinding. I'm in a bad enough mood that I actually consider taking a swipe at my kid.

* Off to school. Dawdle, dawdle, dawdle.

*Get to school. We don't use the door Mags wants to use. Legs lock up; bawling.

*Super clingy child whenI am trying to leave. I pray the teachers don't notice the desperation with which I am trying to peel my child off of me.

*Call some doctors when I get home. Two doctors not available, and third phone call reveals it will be a month (get this) before I even get a call back, much less an appointment. Did I mention this was the new psychiatrist? The one person I desperately need to help me stay sane?!?

(deep breath)

Yesterday was similar in its shittines, and as much as I tried, I was fairly mired in it all day. I can totally see how today could end up the same, if not worse. But I am gonna try to do everything I can to avoid that. This may mean I eat nothing but chocolate all day, but I don't care. I don't need a repeat of yesterday, if only because my dress is due next Wednesday, and while it is coming along beautifully (if I do say so myself,) I really need to stay on schedule. Mostly I'm just gonna try and stay focused on what I need to do/distract myself. Mind over matter. One day at a time.

I will tell you, though -- as soon as this dress is done, I am gonna hand the kid over to Husband and get SO baked.