Like a Moody Sieve

I have a poor memory. Or maybe more correctly, I have a selective memory. And unfortunately, the stuff my brain tends to remember is not always pleasant. One might even say it prefers only recalling the negative and hurtful things. For instance, if I feel you've wronged me in some way, well then yeah, I'm gonna remember that til the day I die. That particular memory will come up every day and twice on Sundays. But the good stuff? The ones with the creamy make-you-feel-happy filling? Its like someone wipes that particular drive clean every 30 minutes.

Husband and I were actually talking about this very thing a week ago. Somehow or another, the topic of flying came up again, and I realized that I almost never think about the fact that I used to fly airplanes, and used to enjoy it. I never think to myself, 'Wow, I earned five certificates/licences and I was the valedictorian of my class when I studied for those two additional FAA mainenance licences!' Or, 'Remember that time I flew all around the country by myself?' No. That just does not happen. And for the record, the only reason I was thinking about the time I did the AIDS ride to Los Angeles was because I was doing laundry yesterday and pulled out the ratty training tshirt they gave us. One of the best times I've ever had. Almost 600 miles over a week, and it lead to some pretty good sex after the fact. But if you'd asked me two days ago to name one of my favorite memories, that would never have come up.

Yesterday I was reminded of yet another good thing that happened to me that I had totally forgotten about, and I just started getting fed up. I realize that life happens and everyone gets distracted, but I think I need to start actively trying to remind myself about the good stuff. I've even considered getting a list tattooed on my arm - seriously. The chances of me forgetting my arm can't be that big, right? (Shit -- I just remembered I have a tattoo on my leg I forget about all the time! Fuck!) Instead, I'll just have to make do with writing them down on said blog to hopefully stumble across at a later date. I'm considering sending myself random Yahoo reminders with links to such posts so that I don't even have to go looking for them. Hmmm...

These memories are not necessarily going to be things I've accomplished and should try to remember, although I think I get bonus points for those. I may even stray off into times that were memorable, but not exactly for good reasons. Hell, I might even start making shit up (I'll mark those with an asterik if I do.) Might make for good reading if I do.....