Staring Down the Barrel of a (Hot Glue) Gun

Sometimes your mind can be so open that your brain falls out.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

"Good News!", Part A

"Good news!" my surgeon cried on the message. "Give me a call back so I can tell you in person!"

It seems as though my test results from my most recent sleep study are back. The test was about two weeks ago. The message? From a week ago. Just got it last night (what can I say? I left my phone charger in WI and had to get my shit together enought to go but another one!)

So. Apparently there is good news. I have mixed feelings about this. Like, how can he say good news? I still sleep like ass. Good news as in they've figured out what the problem is and can fix it? Again? Good news to me is, Here! Take this magic pill once and it will all be fixed! I am doubtful that will be what he tells me today. Good news to me is not, are you ready for your next surgery?

And I also have this fear that he will tell me that my test results came back great. That this'll all start slipping and sliding down that 'psychosomatic' path like when they were trying to figure out why I felt icky last time (tumor.) Or worse yet that this is the best I'll ever get.

But I am guessing. I trust my doctor, and he's never blown sunshine up my ass to date. In fact, I trust him so much I chose to stay with him even when it meant we'd be out of our insurance plan and this would all cost more. Guess the least I can do is extend that trust for another hour, eh?

I'm scared. I want this to be done.

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