Staring Down the Barrel of a (Hot Glue) Gun

Sometimes your mind can be so open that your brain falls out.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mirror Image

Damn, vacations can be fun. Last weekend, the family and I went to a group campout near the Ranch. The campground was a nice place with a pool, too. The crowd was good; lots of scantily-clad folks with smiling faces walking past on the paths. There wasn't much going on; lots of sitting around, which was fine by me. I did some reading.

The one thing it did have that I didn't care for were the jellowjackets. Wish I could've avoided them. They were particularly agressive, and would sting you just for the hell of it (or so it seemed.) And stung I got. Fuck!

Everytime I got stung I'd march over to the medical tent, grumbling about the random unfairness of it all. The topical ointment the medics would give me some out of a teensy vial basically stopped the hurt before it began. I felt silly asking for help, like I was being a big baby over nothing. How could it be a big deal if I couldn't even feel it? The stinger wasn't even in my body anymore!

Just as we were free to leave for home, I got stung again, and this time the medics had already gone. No big deal, I thought; it never hurt before. But this time it did. The sharp, stinging pain built and built until I was miserable. We couldn't drive to town fast enought to get me the ointment I needed.

I'd been clueless as to how well the medication had been working.

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I'd been clueless as to how well the medication had been working.

The 24 hours until I could take my steroids again could not past fast enough. The headache, throbbing and weakness had built and built until I was laid out miserably on the couch. No big deal, I'd thought; I'd missed doses in the past and hadn't been sick before. But this time it did. The meds had all finally gone from my system, just when I'd started to feel I was home free.

The tumor isn't even in my body anymore! Guess I still forget that it's still a big deal even though I can't feel it. I often feel silly, like I'm being a big baby over nothing when I make a doctor's appointment. I take the teensy pills out of the orange vial the doctors gave me which usually stop the crappy, crashing sensations before they begin. The random unfairness of it all still makes me cry everytime I have a setback and I have to visit the hospital again.

Fuck! I got a shot! I'm not here for the hell of it, you know; could you be a little less agrresive? That's one thing I could live without; being around all of these people in white jackets.

I did some reading, which was fine by me. There wasnot much else going on; mostly just sitting around and waiting. Lots of scantily-clad patients with drawn faces walked the hallways; the crowds seemed quiet. The Hospital is nice and has a reflecting pool, too. Next weekend I'm hoping the family and I can hang out together near the house. I can't wait to not go anywhere and have some quiet time. Damn.

1 Comments:

At 8:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nnnnnnnice.

 

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